The fifty dollar mule

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Lemme just start by saying – I love the Burbank airport.

It’s easy to get in and out, unlike the HELLSCAPE that is LAX.

The security line is shorter than what you’d find at your average Kroger-Ralph’s-King Sooper-Fred Meyer-One Eyed O’Houlihan’s.

But once you get through, there’s two gates and not much else.

I was taking the Frontier flight to Vegas, which sounds like something out of a Cormac McCarthy novel.

what happened to him?

I had a few minutes before the flight, so I decided to partake in an alcoholic beverage.

I sidled up to the only dining option, Guy Fieri’s Bar & Grill, and since I was in a rush, ordered a double mule (and given a vodka choice, gave Goose).

What came in a plastic Bud Light cup was a goddamn mojito that tasted like it was made with Sprite.

The waitress handed me the check. $43.

So $50 with tip.

It’s by far the worst mule of my life, but it got the job done.

All for the price of an actual bottle of Goose.

and thats the big bottle!

As I chugged my drink, and headed to the gate just as they called my name, I furtively texted my friend to see if I could write this purchase off.

After all, it’s a travel expense.